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TOYS-R-US PRTF TIME BLASTER!
IN COLOR!
(dramatization based on actual events)
July 1st, 2001. A warm, sunny day in Roseville, Minnesota.
A nice, relaxing Sunday afternoon.
Parents and kids alike take advantage of this rare, idyllic type of day to spend a little time at the mall, maybe run across the street to the smaller shopping center and pick up a book at Barnes and Noble or a Twins cap at the loyal little Pro Shop next door.
A family enters the parking lot, classical music playing quietly inside their 4-door white Ford Tempo. Junior is sitting in the backseat, thinking about Digimon and Batman, when suddenly an almost nonexistant sound makes his ears perk up. Did he hear something? No, he puts his head back down and fiddles with the snow brush in the backseat. It must have been his imagination. They're nearing the sacred area in front of Toys R Us, which his folks know they'll be pulled into at some point in their shopping trip, when Junior hears something again. Faintly, but growing stronger.. he frowns and looks up..the noise begins to take shape into a familiar tune, he cranes his neck to see over the front seat, and to his amazement, he sees...
THE POWER RANGERS TIME FORCE TIME BLASTER!!!!
The music has become suddenly more recognizable.. it's the theme song, and it's blasting throughout the entire parking lot! He jumps up in the backseat and ignores his dad's command to sit down. All he can think is, gotta see it! Gotta see it! His mom shakes her head, knowing they're going to have to sit through it, and they decide to park there before they do any real shopping.
As they get out of the car, they hear a strange sound that reminds them of nails on a chalkboard. Junior is skipping gaily when he looks up and sees a truck. Not just any truck, but a truck with the TF logo on it! Whoa! He wonders if the Power Ranger that was here would let him ride in it! But coming around to the other side, he notices something odd.. there's some strange girl posing by the side of the truck, laughing her head off. A taller woman with red hair is taking her picture, and all Junior can think is, isn't she a little old to still be into Power Rangers?

As Junior gets in line to go inside, a tall woman with brown hair is standing next to the Quantum Ranger, wearing a Burberry plaid tank top. The crazy girl in red is trying to whisper something to the tall redhead, something about the woman looking like Mrs. Fairweather, whoever that is! Junior is just about to run around when his mom stops him and tells him to read the rules before he goes in. Junior is so insulted he starts to pout, but the pictures on the two boards are cool..

Finally, they go in! Each member of the family is handed a pair of 3-D glasses and Mom rolls her eyes. They walk up a short flight of metal stairs and enter a dark room with seats and a big screen advertising Power Rangers Products. A young man stands around waiting for everyone to get seated, with their seatbelts on, when suddenly the crazy girl and her mom enter. The girl is mentioning how the 3-D glasses work as sunglasses, and they decide to sit down in the middle of the seats. The man asks if everyone's ready, and then.. the room goes black. The show is about to begin!
The audience is suddenly transported inside the Power Rangers' own adventures, the seats shudder and the screen jumps out at you. Traveling throughout time, they experience run-ins with dinosaurs and prehistoric bugs that buzz right in everyone's face, they fly right next to the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria and feel the splash of the ocean. Next they're traversing deep tunnels that have a definite Tomb Raider-ish feeling about them. The Quantum Ranger shows up and they follow him through more dangerous terrain, finally coming to Ransik's weapon of destruction. They disable it and the world and time are saved! Ransik is infuriated and comes out of the abyss, warning the Power Rangers in advance of his next attack, and then he disappears, laughing madly. The screen goes black again, and the show is over.
DUDE!! That was so awesome!! Junior is babbling to his parents about how cool that was, Dad is examining the 3-D glasses and pondering the materials that went into the production, and Mom is barely audible as she walks, muttering about the bug that flew out at her and that weird owl. Behind them, the weird girl and her mom are chattering away about basically the same thing, and discussing going in again.
Junior suddenly spots Toys-R-Us and looks pleadingly at his parents, who simply nod. While in there, he picks up the entire set of the Power Rangers figures and a digimon pen!! COOOL! When in line, he looks behind him and.. there's that crazy girl again! She's holding a Pokemon desk set, Digimon and Powerpuff girls stationary kits and an action figure of Lara Croft. Her mom is holding 3 bottles, each with a Power ranger head on top. Her mom looks down at Junior and smiles. "Did you go on the ride?", she asks. Junior just nods and the woman continues. "Really cool, huh?" She then looks at Junior's dad and shakes her head. "We went on it twice already." The crazy girl smiles and seems absorbed in her own world.
On the way out of Toys-R-Us, Junior looks back at the ride and wonders if his mom would let them go on it one more time. He looks up again and Mom looks flustered. "That was really.. fun.." she says quietly, and Junior's face lights up. He starts to run, laughing and his parents follow, walking slowly and smiling. That crazy girl is at it again, posing around back of the ride with 3 issues of the Summer Fox Kids magazine. Junior shakes his head and wonders if she's developmentally disabled, crazy, or just loves having fun.
He pretty much decided on crazy.
Left, the view of the ride from the entrance of Toys R Us, of note is the huge Quantum Ranger balloon; Right, the crazy girl gets cozy with the TF Truck...
Left, Out back behind the ride, gotta love the cool illustrations; right, striking a pose with the TF poster inside the FK Mag.. not that you can see it or anything.
Top, From a distance, you can see the Quantum Ranger balloon flailing wildly in the breeze. I want one of those, man.
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